Friday, October 22, 2010
I often dream of God showing me a map of my life and placing a star on the point where I'm currently located. I don't want a lot of time to study this map. I just want a glimpse. I want to know how long this phase is? What point am I at now? When does the next part come? Looking at the facebook profiles of some of the people I went to high school with, I realized how unique we all are. Some people are "built" to settle into what will be the rest of their lives at 21. I'm not. "I've got things to do before I die." (to quote Sugarland) These profiles also bring to mind how blessed I am to be where I want to be. I still at times, okay, a lot of times, feel its unfair that I lost my dad. I look at the beautiful wedding pictures and baby pictures and I'm only reminded that Daddy will not see those things. It's not that I'm jealous of those events happening right now, just of the people in attendance. Daddy died two years ago Sunday. There are things in those past two years I wish he would have seen. But most of those regrets are actually dreading the future. But these are things I cannot change.