Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Good Side of Convo

First of all, HELLO BLOGGING WORLD. We've been apart for a while. I hate to get you excited for nothing more than a few random thoughts on a convo event, but it is what it is.
Tonight I went to an event for Belmont's second annual Sex & the Soul Week. I approve wholeheartedly of this tradition. Let's talk about the things no one wants to talk about. Let's talk about the things we are supposed to know, but no one ever told us specifically. Several things stuck out to me from tonight's talk. The whole hour was dedicated to celibacy in our culture. The question of the night was "why in the world would God ask us to do this?" I'm guessing most of us have asked ourselves that question at some point. She started by talking about how she came to write a book about this topic. Turns out, she has a similar story to me. She assumed that she would go to college, meet a guy, and get married. She personally added a career as a high school teacher (because it would be easily managed with a family). None of those things have happened. Well, she did teach high school for a bit. The point is she is still single. What do you do with yourself? What do you do with your life? She raised some interesting points about today's church and its view of singles.
Why is it considered abnormal to be single after college? Do you have less value if you have not settled down and produced 2.5 mini-deacons by the age of 26? If not, why do you get "those" looks?

I don't have the answers to these, but I think someone should try to find them.

Friday, October 22, 2010

You Are Here

I often dream of God showing me a map of my life and placing a star on the point where I'm currently located. I don't want a lot of time to study this map. I just want a glimpse. I want to know how long this phase is? What point am I at now? When does the next part come? Looking at the facebook profiles of some of the people I went to high school with, I realized how unique we all are. Some people are "built" to settle into what will be the rest of their lives at 21. I'm not. "I've got things to do before I die." (to quote Sugarland) These profiles also bring to mind how blessed I am to be where I want to be. I still at times, okay, a lot of times, feel its unfair that I lost my dad. I look at the beautiful wedding pictures and baby pictures and I'm only reminded that Daddy will not see those things. It's not that I'm jealous of those events happening right now, just of the people in attendance. Daddy died two years ago Sunday. There are things in those past two years I wish he would have seen. But most of those regrets are actually dreading the future. But these are things I cannot change.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Another Manic Monday

I am NOT a fan of Mondays. Well, let's be honest. It's not the day I dislike as much as the first day of the week. Today is my mom's birthday. This is the first birthday since I've been alive that I haven't been there. I called and chatted with her and she seems to be doing well. I'm a little sad, but I'll never admit that. Then come the grandmothers.
Mamaw has been at Genesis elder care for several weeks now. She takes so many medications she just simply can't keep up with them anymore. When she misses the especially vital ones she literally goes crazy. Alas, no more will this be a problem as my mother informed me this morning during the birthday call that she is officially going to Assisted Living. She will either stay where she is or go to another facility across town. Mamaw is the perfect old lady for an assisted living center. She wants attention, her hair done, and someone to do things for her. Check. She has them all now. Many people would see this transition as a sad thing. I'm actually glad. I wish she was still getting along fine on her own of course, but in her condition she is better off this way and so is the family. We couldn't possibly meet all her needs all the time. And of course we want the best for her.
Then there is Mimi. Mimi will openly tell you she would rather go to her grave than be put in a nursing home. Mimi's sisters ALL had Alzheimer's. She is sharp as a tack still. Mimi does have osteoporosis and you can hear her bones creak when you hold her hand. Broken bones? Of course not. Today she fell against her washing machine. She landed on the kitchen floor. (A less than cushy landing pad.) After a brief visit to the hospital she has no major injuries. She amazes me. We thought hearing the news that her only child, her world for as long as he was alive, had died would kill her. It didn't. In some ways she did better than the rest of us.
I have the blood of both these women running through my veins. Won't it be interesting to see how I age?

On a brighter note: Mamaw's possessions will have to be dealt with. In anticipation of such an event, my uncle and mother have her house in their name. My mom told me they were going to have to sell it. Papaw built that house. I don't want to see that leave the family.
This school year is a completion of many freshman year hopes. Kindall and I are living together on West End. We live in a fabulous apartment building with fabulous neighbors. After this year where does that leave me though? Kindall will graduate and continue on with life and I will be left here for another academic year. I'm not worried about living alone. Been there. Done that. The whole finding another roommate thing is less than appealing honestly. There is pretty much no one who could live with me and be as undisturbed and undisturbing as Kindall. There are other high school friends that I would enjoy living with. We wouldn't see eye to eye as much as Kindall and I, but we'd have fun. They aren't here. That is the glitch in the plan.
But...Mamaw's house is mine if I ask for it. Well, mine if I pay rent and eventually buy it, but mine nonetheless. In short, plans are coming together. There are pieces falling into place or those that could fall into place.
God and I are currently in the middle of a lesson on trusting Him to meet my needs and fulfill the desires of my heart. It's like today is a little glimpse of what is possible. I am a very small child. If you don't show me what's in your hand I will tell you its not there.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

A Constant State of Crisis

I watched Blood Diamond today. I just signed up for Netflix and Leo got the privilege of being the first leading man to show up in my mailbox. There is very little to laugh at in this movie. The story is horrifically true, at least the setting. But somewhere in the middle the only woman seen multiple times in the film says, "3 out of 5 ex-boyfriends recently polled, said I prefer to be in a constant state of crisis." This is funny and surprisingly true. I have no desire to hang out in the middle of a war or to make friends with diamond smugglers. In some since though, I prefer a state of crisis. I am rarely completely satisfied in my current situation. I am rarely, actually I don't think I've ever been, at peace with every part of my life. Nobody is, I know. But maybe I enjoy it. Maybe I like being a little confused. A little uneasy. I think it keeps me aware. Part of me is glad that my life has not followed the typical timeline. I am graduating a year late from college then going to Grad school. Even during grad school, I have no idea where I will be. If there was the supposed "high school sweetheart" it is very possible I would not be typing this in a Nashville apartment.
I use the term "crisis" loosely here. I don't mean an identity crisis where I decide I'm meant to be a nun. (goodness no.) More of a constant state of uncertainty. Admittedly, I fight this all the time. But the movie Blood Diamond, one quote anyway, gave me the words to describe my outlook. My college years, and most likely the years that directly follow, are made up of small crises waiting to be averted. It's okay. I've got this.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Kindall Duke's 20 Reasons to NOT Sleep with Criss Angel

1) Lisp
2) Accent
3) Butt chin
4) Scorpions!!
5) Cat
6) Lips
7) "I feel this presence."
8) Stupid hat
9) Facial Expressions
10) Hand Gestures
11) He's Nick flippin' Calderwood with a bad dye job
12) His mom's lisp is WORSE!
13) He doesn't really speak English
14) When you wake up he might have disappeared
15) Black leather should be reserved for bikers and it should NEVER have dragon-type pictures on it.
16) He's a tease
18) He's a liar
19) Kisses other girls
20) Just 'cause

Thus readers....Make good decisions.