Vacation offers a lot of free time. That is the point after all. Time away from life and worries. I must say the change in altitude has cleared my head. I wasn't over taken with anxiety or anything, but as my last blog addressed, I was holding onto some things that I shouldn't be. Today through random circumstances I slipped back into those thoughts temporarily, but through some more random encounters I have been reminded why I need to get away from those. Those feelings are holding me back. The hardest part is that these feelings are not just about some random event from the past or some past residence. The feelings I am struggling with are for someone. Someone who I thought may just be THE one for a while. I am slowly...painfully...realizing that was not the case. He will continue to be a close friend, but there are more and more doors opening for me in other areas of my life. Maybe some day in the [kind of] distant future I will come back to the place I am in to face a man who has accepted God's help and become the man of my dreams.
This week of rest is opening my eyes to what can be in the near future. My best friend is going to be a mere 30 minutes away from me next year and who knows about next summer...a Nashville apartment perhaps?! However long it takes to adjust my heart and mind to what God wants it to be I will be patient and anxiously awaiting the future!
Monday, May 19, 2008
So we meet again. Only this time I am happy to say that while I don't feel in control of things I do feel that God is in control. I have fastened my seat belt and am prepared to go wherever life may take me. I have been forced to let go of the things that I held on to for security purposes. Now I am standing on my own under the wings of Christ. Life is a hard nut to crack and I don't intend on beating my head against the wall everyday until the answer falls from the sky. There are some circumstances that I don't understand, but I'm through trying to. As I said in my very first post today is the first day of the rest of my life and I choose to see it as a very beautiful thing.