Crossroads

My dad died. Life just became a whole different ball game. There are a lot of firsts coming up. Both big and little hurt just the same. For instance, Lowes Home Improvement can be a very painful place for the family of a loyal customer and true blue gadget man. If there was a gadget for it my dad had it. Then there are the big ones: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and my 20th birthday. In March, my mom will celebrate her 35th wedding anniversary...alone. So where does that leave me? I know that God's fingerprints are all over my life and even my dad's death. It doesn't always feel like God made the right call there, but I know he did even if I don't know why. There is a lot of grieving left to be done. It's not like you can dehydrate yourself completely once or twice and then be done with it. Healing takes time. God's time. I know that there are summer classes in my future. I still want to graduate from Belmont (2011 would be great). The question is when and how will I return. God has my future in his hand. He allowed me to have my freshman year at Belmont to make all the amazing friendships that have held me up through all of this. I can do this. My mom can do this. God did this and I don't have to know why.