Saturday, March 14, 2009

3/11/08 12:11AM

I am writing this on Tuesday night. I’ll have to post it later because of my lack of internet access. I am enjoying a week at the beach that has not been without its downfalls. I am currently waiting for my saturated shoulders to soak up all the lidocaine infused aloe I just smeared all over them. Yes, there is pain.
Overall, this week has been amazing. The miracles started on Sunday morning at church. Pastor Danny spoke what he was moved by the Lord to say. It was to me. On multiple occasions I have heard God speak and thought part of that was for me or I could get something from that. Not this time. Jesus was talking to me. There may have been others that also needed to hear, but I had to hear it. Thus my heart has been calmed by these (paraphrased) words:
I have seen the tears you have cried when no one was watching. I have bottled them all...I love you and accept you despite your fears and failures. I know you are hurt. You have had time to do things on your own. Come back to me. I have missed you. I desire you. I want to be close to you the way I used to be. I know the desires and wishes of your heart and if you follow me, when the time is right, I will give them to you.

Such simple concepts can do so much when they are taken to heart. I never know how far I have gotten from God until He reminds me what we had together. There was a time that I saw God as my best friend. Through all of my mistakes I have run from him. Every sin adds a brick to the wall between us. We all sin everyday, but when you loose the honest repentance of your heart, you loose your chance for righteousness. Once again I want to say that I tell God everything. My favorite prayer times aren’t at church surrounded by people, but instead just me, sitting on my bed, talking to my Savior. Not because He won’t know what happened or what I need if I don’t tell him, but because I desire communion with the Most High.

I will give my utmost for his Highest.

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