Blizzard 09

I admit the word blizzard is used in a very loose, southern way. There is a good 4 or 5 inches of snow on the ground and it continues to fall. Snow feels pure and secure. It doesn't clank on the roof or bounce off cars. It falls peacefully to the ground wherever God wills it. I want to be like snow. I want to freefall into God's will with total trust in his power to catch me before I hit bottom. This snow in particular is special to me and my mom. While it is the first snowstorm without Daddy, she and I both wanted one good snow before spring. Here it is. A silent fortress is being built by angels around our house. As Daddy would have me do, I pulled out the flashlights. I feel more than prepared for darkness with my dad's law enforcement sized Maglite. Snow makes night feel like day. God's nightlight. Over the past couple days, I have admittedly lost focus on God's will and provision. I have allowed myself to become caught up in the turmoil of this life. Complications which are so temporary they mean nothing in the long term. The snow falling outside brings my focus back to God. No one can make it snow but Him. He has renewed my dedication to draw closer to Him. For many years I have longed to be completely lost in God. Completely satisfied with Him; confident that I could lose everything and still have all I need. The older I get, the more I realize that this desire was kindled in my heart to prepare me for when I meet who I am supposed to marry. I cannot unite in the Lord with someone when I can't unite with my Savior myself. I cannot love someone if I cannot love myself as God's creation, perfect and planned. I am not on a "manhunt". I am not driven to succeed on worldly terms. I want God. I need God. I have God. He is within me and I am covered under his mercy and grace. There is nothing He can't do. Nothing He will not forgive. No distance too great for him to rescue me.

I need you Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There is no other name
By which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow you
I will follow you
This world has nothing for me